Male Mental Health: Time to Destigmatize
The 2020-21 Summer Olympics in Tokyo showcased the best athletes from around the world. Of those athletes, veteran Michael Phelps—28 medal-Olympic swimmer—was a commentator at the event, providing insights about Katie Ledecky, and other American swimmers alike. But, it wasn’t just Michael Phelps’s past swimming experience that was impactful. As a recent ambassador for Talkspace, an online therapy service, Phelps is getting the word out about mental health and destigmatizing beliefs of mental health in men. The pressure for men to be strong and handle problems on their own, only causes more harm than good. When you ignore a problem, the issue will only worsen and make the situation more dire. Several celebrities are spreading awareness and are supporting their male friends—demonstrating that men can love each other openly and still be considered a ‘man.’
1. Acknowledge When You Need Help
Michael Phelps’s ambassadorship for Talkspace began after his official retirement from Olympic competition. Emerging from an environment of constant critique, it is no wonder why Phelps struggled. “I believe I have experienced a state of depression after every Olympics I competed in,” said Phelps, “For a long time, I only saw myself as a swimmer, not a person.” When Phelps hit his “all-time low,” he stopped eating, barely slept, and recalls “just not wanting to be alive.” When Phelps hit rock bottom, he needed to do something that men are never taught to do: ask for help. In Phelps’s case, he went to therapy. One of the leading factors that led to Phelps’s recovery is talking about his feelings, something many men are taught to avoid. When doing so, “life became easy” for Phelps, and he no longer felt the need to “compartmentalize” or “store” his feelings away.
2. Open Up
Men stereotypically grapple with talking about their feelings, but times are changing. More men, like Phelps, are raising awareness for mental health and speaking out about their struggles. For example, Pete Davidson, comedian on SNL, often speaks out about his borderline personality disorder (BPD), depression, and crohn’s disease. In doing so, Davidson is raising awareness for mental health in men, and normalizing treatment. Therapy gets a bad rap; people often believe that therapy is only for those who are mentally ill, but that’s far from the truth. Therapists are like life coaches, they help you through a variety of issues, whether it’s sleep, diet, or stress—they are there to listen, and guide you in the right direction. Opening up doesn’t make you weak; if anything it makes you stronger. By understanding yourself better, you are able to open yourself up towards the ones you love.
3. Be Kind to Yourself
The worst thing anyone can do when struggling, is to be angry at themselves for what they are going through. It is normal to struggle. Men need to accept that it is ok to be vulnerable and to ask for help from those around them. Comedian, John Mulaney, and friend, Seth Meyers, host of Late Night with Seth Meyers, are a prime example of friends supporting each other through hard times. This past year, Mulaney went to rehab for substance abuse. Before Mulaney went to rehab for the second time and went through a relapse, Meyers staged an intervention with Mulaney’s friends and family to address the issue. Mulaney recalls being angry during the intervention and wanting to “continue using drugs.” But the intervention helped, and this past September Mulaney thanked Meyers and his friends for saving his life: “I love you Seth. You guys saved me from drugs...I don’t have a joke for that, I’m really grateful to you. I love you.” Mulaney and Meyers saying “I love you,” to each other is a great example of normalizing the importance of love in any relationship — including men.
People are not meant to go through dark times alone. When men turn to others for support, they are opening themselves up to love and healing. The next time you see a friend or family, remember to always say, “I love you.”
Michael Phelps: ‘I Am Extremely Thankful That I ... - CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html.
LateNightSeth, director. John Mulaney Tells Seth About His Eventful Year. YouTube, YouTube, 7 Sept. 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRIjAXVIIhY. Accessed 8 Oct. 2021.
